Waiting for this to be officially over.
It has now been 2 days since my negative beta.
Two days without progesterone shots in my rear.
Amazingly, almost immediately after stopping progesterone all my “symptoms” stopped.
No more nausea, no cramping, no spotting. My boobs feel great, I can use the restroom again, and no more lightheadedness.
Hallelujah .
Last cycle I’m pretty sure my period started on Saturday. So now here I am again, waiting.
The worst part is that I am not thinking healthy thoughts.
The longer it goes without showing up the more often I find myself thinking “maybe I am pregnant, maybe it was just too soon”
I’ve calculated “if it doesn’t start by such and such day my hcg would be high enough to test”
I’ve thought “maybe my body is making enough of the hormones to maintain a pregnancy and the doctors are wrong. ”
I cannot be thinking thoughts like this.
I need to accept our failure so I can move on.
So for one of very few times in my life I am actually willing my period to start.
Start so it can be over.
It needs to end so I can begin our last cycle.
I hope Dr. Odum can fit us in immediately.
xoxo
ME
